Each week we feature some of the incredible staff that make up the Grey team in Australia. We asked them for a bunch of facts... and then we handed the task over to one of our copywriters.
Jayne Driver Jayne is the most energetic Account Director ever created. Every day Jayne eats her own weight in food, which now has its own measurement = 1Jn. Jayne lives down the Mornington Peninsular amongst wineries, beaches and apple pies. Apart from hoarding little black dresses, Jayne also has 4 chickens, 2 miniature belted Galloway cows, 2 human children and one dog. Jayne also tells me she’s going to be launching a windy business in her spare time. I don’t know what a windy is but all power to her. In general, Jayne says she loves her life and who could blame her; she lives in a botanical paradise with a menagerie of animals, all within range of the world’s best apple pie.
- Lee Miglino Lee Miglino aka Mr Salt & Pepper, is the head of finance and current global title-holder of ‘furthest distance walked while on a mobile phone’. If Lee isn’t walking and talking he’s sitting and hitting…the keys of his laptop (give me a break, poetry is hard). When Lee isn’t being the boss, he’s also not cycling or running. This is mainly because he has something better to do: be an awesome father to two, soon-to-be bosses, Oliver and Matthew. When Lee needs to refuel his body for more fatherly activities he tops up with coffee, wine and pasta, aka the Italian diet. Also in keeping with his Italian roots Lee goes for The Blues, surprise, surprise.
Belle Thompson Belle’s main job at the agency is to nag me about writing people’s biographies. I’m sure she has a bunch of other jobs but unless they include Instagram or Snapchat I haven’t seen her do them. She says her girlfriends are a combine average of 9.5 which is weird that Belle would hang out with girls of such a junior age to herself, but hey, who am I to judge? She has a dog called Noodle who only takes two minutes to cook. He can also shake hands, fetch the paper and do complex mathematical equations in his head. Most of Belle’s life has been spent watching the Kardashians so at least she’s getting out of the house these days.
- Amy Young Amy is the youngest person in the Sydney agency and has been ever since she was born. Being a young person she probably likes Justin Beaver and emojis (although I should probably refer to the notes she gave me, so let’s delve in). Amy has just finished university and enjoys tequila, so I can only assume she hates life. She’s obsessed with stripes so she would look right at home in France or prison. She can’t sing but enjoys forcing people listen to her sing, which explains her love for the ancient Japanese art of Karaoke. Amy is also teaching herself guitar so she’s got that going for her. All in all Amy will probably rule the world one day so be nice to her.
Claudia McInerney Claudia is the General Manager at Grey Melbourne but let me assure you, her position will in no way compromise the integrity of this biography. Claudia is the most amazing General Manager (and person) an employee could hope for. She is hard working, friendly, always there for you, and is yet to break any of the 10 Commandments. Claudia has three angelic children, a devoted husband and has lived in Sydney, Amsterdam, Oxford and now Melbourne – with every city seeing a rise in general wellbeing because of her presence. She’s also fiercely brand-loyal, driving 2 Volvos - sometimes at the same time – only eating Bakers Delight, washing with Pantene and living in an underground lair at Flemington Racecourse. All in all Claudia is the best person in the world.
- Matt Simms Much like Jesus and Santa Claus, Matt was born on Christmas Day. Unlike Jesus and Santa Claus, Matt doesn’t have a beard, a sleigh, or a ready supply of Frankincense. According to my information, Matt apparently “once seriously considered becoming a professional poker”. A poker? Anyway, when he’s not having delusions about being an inanimate object, Matt likes to surf and run marathons (typical). Matt has also worked across the globe in London, Hong Kong and now Sydney, and once hitchhiked from Sheffield to Tallinn (if you’ve ever been to Sheffield this makes total sense). All in all, we’re very glad Matt gave up doing traffic reports on the radio to come work for Grey.
Katie Wellbelove Katie Wellbelove made up her last name at an early age after she misspelt her original last name ‘Wellfreshinnitbruv’. Trying to distance herself from her chavvy roots was difficult for Katie since her accent, appearance and lifetime membership to Spar were dead giveaways. Luckily for Katie, help was at hand. She became a vegetarian, trained as a yoga teacher and took to drinking gin (as opposed to her usual Lambrini). These days Katie moves seamlessly throughout society with only the occasional ‘lush’ giving away her true heritage. In other news Katie loves Justin Beaver and wants to own a sausage…dog
- Justine Leong Justine is like a bad mullet – business in the front and business in the back. That isn’t to say Justine doesn’t kick ass outside of work. On the contrary, Justine is a cheese eating, bilingual, dual-dog owning, ghost busting, ass-kicking machine (she also goes by the name Le Terminatoire). Knowing two forms of martial arts (one of which will probably be my fate after this biography) Justine once defended herself against an Indian ghost who was haunting her tin of Darjeeling (disclaimer: actual events may have differed vastly from those stated in the previous sentence). If you see Justine around tell her I’m sorry and that the charcuterie board is on its way.
Victoria Demafeliz Victoria is a compulsive liar and has been ever since she sent me her list of biographical “facts” (to be fair, they’re probably all true). Anyway…here goes. Victoria was a jungle child who grew up sacrificing people to an active volcano on the Philippine island of Negros. Her parents (presumably Tarzan and Jane) were communist guerrillas with bounties on their heads. After enrolling in Accounting at university without having any prior knowledge of it (this story makes no sense) she eventually got a job at Grey. Victoria’s main job however is being a founding member of The Pink Tiles – a band, not an all-woman bathroom renovation squad. Victoria’s son turns 18 this year, which mean’s he’ll no doubt return to the jungle to claim his mantle of Tarzan Jr.
- Matt Parker Matt Parker grew up in the UK and is an avid football fan, following Liverpool FC (I’m guessing here but I assume FC stands for ‘fish colony’). Matt grew up in a Toaster, or a town called Toaster, but spelt Towcester (srsly guys, you invented the stupidest language). Anyway, Matt likes to trade members for his family for pet dogs and Indian food – the exchange rate is two cousins for a popadom. Matt, like everyone, likes to pretend to be good at golf because of that one perfect shot every round. During his time as a student he abused his position as a radio host to stalk Dr Karl Kennedy from Neighbours. Matt has never seen Star Wars. Matt is dead to me.
Claire Manning Claire’s nickname is Crazy Claire, but don’t call her that or she’ll cut you. However, being the mother of the agency she’ll also put a bandaid on the cut and kiss it better. Claire enjoys community service ever since the state ordered her to do so. Her other hobbies include reading, cooking, reading cookbooks, rescuing dogs, rescuing her husband, oral hygiene and making sure her son doesn’t get a vitamin deficiency from playing Fallout 4. Claire’s laugh is so loud it once registered on the Richter scale and caused a minor tsunami warning in the South Pacific. Claire is essentially Banshee from X-men (spandex suit and all).
- Renee Luri Renee or Ren is an unprofessionally trained operatic singer who loves pineapples. She swipes right on life and on swarthy men, all while doing her day/night job of being a senior designer/production/studio manager/traffic manager/account service/barista/zookeeper/Nazi hunter/cyborg renegade cop from the future. Renee comes from a royal lineage of Nintendo characters (father Mario, grandfather Luigi, distant cousin Donkey Kong) and owns her own home which she defends from turtles, dragons and man-eating drain flowers. Ren describes herself as a ‘chatterbox with a passionate potty mouth’, Aaron describes her as a ‘fashionista’ and Knoxy describes her as ‘don’t talk to me’. If you see her around the office swipe right for a conversation. By: Guy Incognito
Catherine McDonald Catherine McDonald is a gigantic Taylor Swift fan. I tell you this because she said not to – which I believe was reverse psychology on her part. Catherine speaks English, French, Italian as well as Swahili, Morse code and telepathy. She’s lived in England, America and once spent a summer in the ancient city of Babylon. Catherine is a grammar vulture (she feasts on the carcasses of your terrible English) and sometimes corrects the punctuation from my inner monologue. Catherine’s hobbies include ballet lessons and her bethrothed, Reuben. All in all I give Catherine two thumbs up. Good work. By: Guy Incognito